- User Rating
- review
- 1.Insanely muscular body
2.Was in Maxim's Hot 100
3.Has both a free and premium OnlyFans
4.Might snap your dick in half
Not only is this Canadian bombshell a gorgeous face on OnlyFans, but she is also an out-of-this-world beauty that will have you wondering if humans and Amazonians can actually interbreed. Alysha is here to remind you that you're a overweight piece of garbage, and her strength will make you feel like a pussy. However, you may at least find solace in admiring her stuff while body-bagging a crunch wrap supreme.
From Pole Vaulter to Pole Stroker
Although pole vaulting may seem to be all about propelling oneself upward with a huge pole, Alysha Newman transformed it into an art form. With the elegance of a caffeinated butterfly, this Canadian Olympian soared over bars rather than simply clearing them.
There was no question about Newman's physical prowess. With enough Red Bull and willpower, she may have been able to jump over the CN Tower. However, it seems that she found it insufficient to defy gravity in scanty attire.
When a girl has reached the pinnacle of Olympic competition, what is she supposed to do? Leap into the arms of OnlyFans, of course! Newman exchanged her pole for a phone, her track for a tripod, and her medals for a different kind of gear.
Her flexibility, both in terms of her body and her career, deserves praise. She represents Canada on the global scene one minute, and the thirst trap part of your Instagram feed the next. Speaking of turning on a dime, that was a gold medal performance.
With a Gym Membership, Built Like a Brick
While pole vaulting may seem like it's all about elegant jumps and soaring into the air, it's now primarily a way for Alysha Newman to flaunt her incredibly sculpted body. This lady's muscles have muscles. Lead might be grated by her abs. Your penis would resemble an hourglass if Alysha jerked you off.
You almost anticipate hearing the Rocky theme tune playing when Newman enters the track. Atlas would be envious of her shoulders. Those thighs? They don't only send Alysha soaring into the atmosphere; they also make fun of the sky. It makes you wonder if she ever has trouble locating tees that fit over those arms.
However, Newman's movements are as graceful as a gazelle's, even if he seems like a marble sculpture come to life. A gazelle with a really muscular physique that can likely bench press a car. The raw power of a locomotive has been, as it were, compressed into the physique of a supermodel. It's more about the bar getting out of her way when she vaults than it is about clearing it. Just keep in mind that Alysha Newman's quads are probably judging you from halfway across the world when you're feeling bad about missing leg day.
Large Pectorals, Little Breasts
Alysha Newman is here to dispel the myth that small breasts and large pectorals cannot coexist. The chest of this Canadian pole vaulter turned OnlyFans phenomenon is more perplexing than a zen koan.
Don't be deceived by the little cup size; Alysha's chest packs a far greater punch than a boxing kangaroo. Although her lively couple may not require much help, they have sufficient backing to launch a revolt. Consider them to be the tiny yet powerful underdog of the breast industry.
The pectoral muscles behind those adorable small cupcakes are likely capable of breaking walnuts. Alysha's chest is now more sculpted than Michelangelo's David as a result of years of pole vaulting. Her breasts are protected by their own bodyguards, who are always prepared to flex their muscles.
Keep in mind that good things come in small packages, especially when those packages are supported by Olympic-caliber muscle, as you browse Alysha's OnlyFans. The breast-pec combo is so captivating that you'll pause before uttering itty bitty titty committee.
From Great Leaps to High Demand
Although you may believe that pole vaulting and alluring photographs are incompatible, Alysha Newman is here to demonstrate how wonderfully mistaken you are. With her seductive switch from track and field to OnlyFans star, this Canadian Olympian has won over fans all over the world.
Not only is Newman's physical prowess versatile. She switched more quickly than you could say, "A girl's gotta pay rent," when she discovered that track and field sports didn't pay the bills. With the addition of a new audience keen to see just how high she could elevate the form-fitting uniforms and toned muscles, the scene changed dramatically.
Newman possesses more than just pole-vaulting ability, let's be honest. She soon rose to fame on OnlyFans thanks to her stunning face, which has gained thousands of followers, and her alluring physique. One could argue that she has discovered her genuine calling, exchanging bronze medals for adoring fans who would be happy for her to jump into their DMs at any time and for cold, hard cash.
Twirling Issues in Track and Field
One could imagine that breaking a national record would be a reason to rejoice, yes? Well, not if you're Alysha Newman, and your concept of a victory dance is shaking what your mother gave you. After breaking the Canadian women's pole vault record by reaching unprecedented heights, our girl Alysha chose to celebrate the occasion by doing a little twerking. I mean, bouncing your backside on the track is the perfect way to announce that you're a top-notch athlete, isn't it?
As one may expect, the rigid track and field community reacted by dropping its monocle. This joyous display of jigging shocked both the public and officials. How dare she display her delight in such a provocative way? Doesn't she realize that female athletes are expected to be sexless, emotionless robots? The horror!
However, our little Alysha wasn't going to allow the haters to ruin her parade. She remained steadfast in her joyful wiggle, essentially advising her detractors to put their pole where the sun doesn't shine. Because after you've just conquered gravity and made history, you have the right to shake it in any way you see fit.
Dancing on a Pole
Alysha Newman's move from Olympic pole vaulter to OnlyFans celebrity may seem like a jump, but it was actually a smooth descent down the pole. Her OnlyFans followers skyrocketed after the video of her twerking talents became famous.
An Olympian with a love of booty-shaking is sure to draw attention. Alysha's twerking video went viral online, leaving wallets wide open. All of a sudden, her OnlyFans income went from covering cable costs to covering mortgage payments.
Alysha's OnlyFans audience grew at a rate that exceeded her personal best in the pole vault as a result of her newfound fame. Her page was swarmed by fans like seagulls around a fallen ice cream cone, all curious about the other secret abilities this athletic beauty could have. Who would have imagined that a bit of disagreement could be so profitable? One might almost wonder if there is a Twerking for Dummies class offered at the Olympic training facility.
Maintaining a Low Cost
You may enjoy Alysha Newman's excellent material for less than the cost of a subpar pizza. That's correct, everyone: for $12. 99 per month, you get the greatest view in the house to the pole vault of beauty herself.
Sign up right away to get a sneak peek at her gold medal-worthy physique in action. It's similar to having a personal trainer, but you'll be the one breaking a sweat in your forearm.
For Olympic-quality eye candy, $12. 99 is a steal. With Newman available to binge, who needs Netflix? Therefore, feel free to satisfy the track and field fan within you. Even if your wallet is lighter, your spirits will soar.
Don't Forget About the Free Account
With Alysha's premium OnlyFans, you believed you had struck gold, right? Folks, hold onto your wallets because there's a plot twist. Our pole-vaulting princess has been kind enough to give us commoners a free OnlyFans account. However, remember the following before you begin performing backflips: A lunch is never free... or, in this instance, a complimentary look.
This story serves as a teaser for the main event. You'll only get enough to whet your appetite, but the actual treats? These are protected behind a pay-per-view barrier. It's similar to being invited to a buffet only to discover that there are additional costs for every dish. The treasures that lie behind that paywall are unknown to anyone who is ready to jump over it.
Maxim's Hot 100
In 2021, this Canadian beauty made it onto Maxim's Hot 100 list by jumping with her jizz pouring and her penis out. Newman redefines the expression "raising the bar" with her combination of athletic talent and stunning appearance.
This pole vaulting diva has perfected the skill of being smoking hot while winning medals, whether she's soaring over crossbars or sizzling in photo shoots. Sports can be this seductive? Who would have guessed? The fact that Newman made the Hot 100 list only serves to demonstrate that, in some cases, the most attractive women truly go unnoticed—or, in this instance, pass unnoticed.
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